The Deep

There is a beauty that can be found when wrestling with God through some of the ugly parts of life. Could there possibly be a beauty found in suffering? I think so, to a certain extent. But you have to look for it. Why would you want to look for beauty in the suffering of another human being? Because if you belong to God, if you are saved in Jesus Christ, then He says He will never leave us nor forsake us. Which means we must be able to find Him somewhere among the suffering. He says so.

When you watch someone being eaten alive by cancer, you begin to desperately search for God among the suffering. I can see a beauty in that, because it pulls you out into the deep water. Many of us stay comfortable and safe along the shoreline, content with our shallow faith. But when you are pulled out into the deep water, where your feet can no longer touch the ground, you are forced to reconcile whether you really, truly believe God is Who He says He is and whether He really, truly loves us like He says He does.

There is a beauty in our feebleness, there is a beauty in our weakness, because it demands someone stronger. The irony of that, is that the One Who is stronger chose to immerse and encapsulate Himself into our weakness. He experienced our weakness. He experienced our death. He is not a God to Whom you can say “But you don’t understand…” Because He does understand. He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities and “…by His wounds we are healed.” Suffering is ugly and when I see someone suffer, I wrestle with God. Most of the time I’m content to sit at His feet, my head bowed in reverence. But when I encounter suffering I seek His face. I want answers, I want Him to explain how He justifies something that seems unjustifiable. And when I look up to seek His face, I see Him, way far out in the deep water. Waiting.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that made us whole was upon him, And by His wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:4,5)