(originally posted 7/3/2015 at litlegirlriseup.blogspot.com)
A few years ago I started praying for God to help me know Him, to draw me into a deeper, more committed relationship with Him. I prayed that I would hear His voice, that He would speak to me in profound ways. Once again, my expectations were grandiose and sensational: visions, dreams, His audible voice, etc. And once again, God delivered His answer in His usual, quiet, non-grandiose, non-sensational way. He revealed to me that if I truly wanted to know Him and have the deeper relationship with Him I was desiring, then the best place to start was with what He has already revealed to us about Him through His Word. Once again, not what I was expecting, yet once again, enough.
I have to admit, when God answered my prayer to know Him and have a deeper relationship with Him by simply telling me to read my Bible, you know, the whole thing, I was kinda bummed. In my fervent desire for God to use me, I completely missed the fact that God had to first make me usable. Too often our prayer to God is, “Use me!”, like, “Hey God, I’ve really got a lot to offer you!” When instead it should be, “God, make me usable!”, because the reality is we’ve really got a lot to learn.
I really, truly felt like I had a lot to offer God: outspoken, outgoing, determined, dedicated, etc. In my human ignorance I figured God could use me for some really great, profound things. But God can’t use people who feel like they have a lot to offer Him, because in all actuality, God doesn’t need anything. There is nothing we can offer God that He doesn’t already have. Therefore, the only people that God can really use are those that completely empty themselves and allow God to fill them back up. In essence, you have to allow God to break you so you can realize that no matter how “good” we think we are, we are ALL wretched and sinful and in desperate need of His guidance, love and salvation. That is when God can finally show you who you really are and what you were really meant to do. Because only when God has broken us away from ourselves, can we finally sit still and listen.